Wednesday, December 30, 2009


I think it will be a slow process for me to fully get back into blogging. I did it so regularly for so long that I thought I could easily just get right back into the habit of posting every few days. I think my blogging break was just too long though, so it will take some time for me to really be a regular. I apologize for that. Part of the issue is that everything I want to write about is so heavy. Once I get the heaviness out, I think I'll be better.

I realize after my whole dramatic exit from the old blog and my allusions to the fact that crazy things have been going on in my life that many of you would probably come up with some theories as to what is really happening with me. The good news is that everyone is currently healthy, at least in a physical sense, and fairly happy. For blogging purposes, I am going to refer to my husband from here on out as JD...JD and I are fine, in case you were wondering. We are as good as ever, thank God (for real). The girls, whose names here will be Lilly, Elsie, and Anna, are all wonderful, again THANK GOD! I am not pregnant...thank you, thank you, thank more babies now (probably ever). My husband still has his job. We still have our home. Things sound great, right?

Well, you are right. Things in our household are great. I really cannot complain about my own life. However, sometimes the lives of people around you really do effect your life, and basically that's what's been going on with me lately. You may want to stop reading this right now...I think I may be bad luck.

Back around the beginning of October, my mom was cutting my oldest's hair and she said something to me that no child really ever wants to hear from a parent. I asked what my dad was doing at that moment, and she said she didn't know and that he was mad at her. Keep in mind that my parents have had a lot of ups and downs over the years. Him being mad at her or vice versa isn't really shocking. I guess I asked what the problem was, and she said, "He asked me why we don't have any intimacy in our relationship, and he didn't like my answer." Sheesh. Even at my age (30..cringe), I like to keep the topic of sex and my parents as far from my thoughts as possible. This isn't a topic my mom has really ever discussed with me, so aside from the grossness of the topic in general, it was really concerning that she would even reveal this to me. I immediately started getting this heavy dark cloud feeling I get sometimes when I have to deal with something I don't like. She went a little further to say that when you don't get along with someone for so long, it effects your relationship. Duh.

A couple of weeks passed...we had a baby shower for my sister in law, which meant she came into town to stay with my parents for the weekend (my brother/her husband was/is out of the country). After the baby shower, I had some downtime and went by my mom's new place of business, which my dad was working to get in shape for opening day. While there, I didn't mention the conversation I'd had with my mom earlier in the month, but I did tell him he needed to start treating her differently...romantically...and that I thought some things needed to improve in their relationship. He said he did think she'd been acting strangely (which she totally had been...another story, another day), and he really was at a loss for what to do. I hoped that he'd at least try something.

Fast forward another week or very favorite friend invites me to come over to her house to have the kids play and invites our other good friend as well. Normally, this would be great, but she'd just had us over the previous week, and we don't normally do in-home playdates that close together...we usually go places outside the homes (parks, story time, etc.). I couldn't make it to her house that day, but I didn't think a whole lot of it. She calls me the next day to tell me she's moving and that she'd hoped to tell me in person at her house the day before. I'm sure it sounds crazy, but I was just devastated. I was a weepy, sad mess. JD told me I was acting like someone had died. He just doesn't are different. I threw this friend's baby shower recently. Lilly is best friends with her daughter. She is a friend I can spend hours on the phone with and talk to every single day. We text throughout the day almost every day. You just don't find friends like that easily when you're an adult. JD tells me to relax...she's only moving a couple hours away. Yes, that is true, but these people are a part of my daily life, so my life will be changing, and I'm sad.

So, I was going through a mini-blue period over this situation with my friend...and then two days later I get a phone call from my dad at 8 PM. He calls and asks if I know where my mother is. I knew it was bad as soon as he asked me that question. He went on to tell me that she'd been gone for over two hours. He took the dog out to do her business for no more than ten minutes, and when he came back in the house, my mom was gone. I was floored. I told him I didn't know where she was but that I'd try to get in touch with her (he'd already tried, of course). I called her cell answer. So, I sent her a text, "Where are you? This really isn't cool." It sounds dumb now....I just didn't know what to say. I knew exactly what was happening, and I was so pissed I cannot relay it in words. She called me after that and said she was with a girlfiend (what girlfriend?!? mother has no girlfriends...or so I thought) and that she wasn't going back. So, basically, I got to drive to my dad's house and tell him that his wife of 31 years was never coming home. If you are a parent, keep in mind that that is not a position you ever need to you put your kids in...please.

So, my mom is 48 going on 17. Friendly suggestion...don't ever have a midlife crisis. This is really just the beginning of everything that has been going on with me...much of it surrounds this issue, but some of it is totally unrelated. I promise to still blog about the good things, but I really need to get all this crap OUT!

Have any of you been through this? Are your parents still married? Did any of you have parents that broke up when you were adults?

Saturday, December 5, 2009

New Beginning

It feels really, really great to finally have a new place to post. The old blog has felt a little too public for me for quite some time. It wasn't long after I started it back in 2004 that a guy I went to college with found it. He was very nice, and we ended up hanging out with him and his wife, who also started reading my blog. It ended up that they were good friends with a girl I went to high school with, and I have since worked with and gone to church with former classmates of theirs. I believe that they have kept word of my blog to themselves, but I honestly never felt fully able to express myself there after that, and that was VERY early in my life as a blogger.

Here I am in a new place with a new name; it feels a little weird honestly. I was at the old place for over five years! I will not use my own personal name here or the real names of any of my family or friends, so if you are aware of the real names, please do not leave them in comments. I am very excited to finally have an outlet to express how I'm feeling about anything and everything. I really, really do not like when people complain constantly, but there have been some things going on in my life that simply warrant a little whine.

For those that have known me for a while, I have done a Christmas card swap for the past two years, and I've really enjoyed it. If we've swapped cards in the past and would like to do so this year, please let me know!!

Next post coming shortly!!