Tuesday, February 23, 2010

When I Said Slow...

Here is an up to date pic of the girls. It was taken on Valentine's Day. Where did my babies go???

When I said I'd be getting back into blogging slowly, I bet you never guessed I'd be this slow, huh? I really do want to do better, because I have so many things to share. I have so many things I'd for which I 'd love to ask your advice!

J and I talked recently about what I'm going to do after the kids go to school. We still have another year and a half before Lilly starts and another three and a half years before the twins start. Despite it being a few years down the road, I've started thinking about what I might want to do with the rest of my life. Do I really want to teach middle school English again? I don't think I do. It's sad to go through all that schooling and then decide you don't think that's what you're meant to do. If I could just go in and teach my students and not have to worry about all the other crap that goes along with being a teacher, I'd do it in a heartbeat. I love the kids, and I love the subject matter. However, being a teacher takes up a lot more of your life; it becomes part of your identity, and getting the summers off really doesn't make up for the school year in my opinion. So much is expected of teachers...so much that most people do not realize. Pay isn't everything, but the pay definitely isn't worth it. Plus, they urge you to get your Master's degree now...do I really want to go through that for that kind of job?? I have a lot of time to think about this, but I'd like to start preparing if I decide I need to go back to school. These are just thoughts...and then there's the possibility of another baby. This is something else we've talked about recently. Do I REALLY want another baby?? Do I really want to start over? I have some very controversial reasons for even considering another baby...reasons that I would probably be raked over the coals for if I shared. That may not stop me though...I may need your advice on that in the future as well.

Thank you to everyone that posted a comment with advice and/or support on my last post regarding my parents marriage ending after 31 years. My parents are getting a divorce, and it should be final sometime in March. My mom has no interest in trying to work anything out with my dad. She says she loves him, but she's not in love with him. I have always thought that was such a ridiculous reason for divorce. Don't get me wrong, I do believe in being "in love", and I definitely think you need to be "in love" with your spouse. However, I know that circumstances make relationships hard sometimes, and I know that sometimes people fall "out of love" when times get tough. I also know that people come out of these funks all the time, but it takes dedication and commitment. My mom seems content to just be alone right now. She is living in an apartment above her salon. She actually kind of has it made financially...something I was really worried about since hair stylists have very unreliable income. She pays $250 per month for her 2 bedroom apartment, and that includes her electricity, water, and cable. It's a very nice place too, so she really got very lucky. She doesn't have a land line other than her salon phone. Her only other bills are her car payment, cell phone, and internet. She will soon have to start paying for her own health insurance though, and that is kind of a scary thought in itself. She is home every time I call her, and I don't think she leaves very often since she just works downstairs. I'm not sure if this is the life she wanted when she left, but it's the life she's getting.

My dad is still fairly distraught over it all. It's been four months since she left, and he has come to terms with it I think, but he is far from over it. Thankfully, my brother returned from the Middle East a week or so ago, and he and his family are staying with my dad until they move to their permanent station in April. It is good for my dad to have the daily companionship. He actually leaves today for the state my brother and sister in law will be moving to in April. He and my brother are going to scout out housing options. This will be my dad's first time flying! He's 51! My mom never wanted to fly, and my dad always said he didn't want to as well, but I think that they were actually both just leaning on the other and would have flown if it hadn't been for them being together.

I am doing OK with it all. I still don't agree with the way it all went down, and I have learned a lot about relationships through dealing with the situation. I just have to focus on my parents separately right now. I am trying my best to maintain my relationship with both of them, talking about the other parent as little as possible, and just making sure that I keep them both involved in my kids' lives. That's all I know to do right now. They really make me tired.


  1. No worries about taking so long to get back into blogging... your posts are eagerly anticipated, but with patience enough to last as long as it takes :o)

    I just realised from that picture how much one twin looks like you and the other looks so much like J - how sweet!! (and how did I miss that before?)

    It sounds like you have a lot of things going on, that you have to think about right now... I know that one fairly well (I handed in my notice yesterday for health reasons and this has many implications for our future, including a family, we hope) so although I don't know your exact situation, I will always be a willing ear if you ever want to chat (on here, on FB, on skype or whatever). You know (or I hope you do) that I would never judge you on anything you are thinking about/choose, however "controversial" it may be... especially after how amazing you were when I wanted to talk a while back!

    Sorry to hear that things are difficult with your parents' situation, that must be so hard! I am thinking of you lots and hoping you find the answers you need for all aspects of your life soon.


  2. Your girls are getting so big and beautiful!

  3. I too will wait as long as it takes in between posts but dang it girl I can't wait to see new updates!

    I am sorry about your parents. It has to be exhausting. I just can't imagine.

    The kids are cute! I can't believe how much one of the twins looks like you and L and how the other looks like your hubby! I'm sure you hear that all the time.

    Until next time, take care. :)

  4. Deciding what you want to do is a huge decision. I've been going through that lately as I know what I'm doing now isn't right for me for the long term, but heck if I know what I really want to be doing.

  5. I am glad we all heard from you again. I always check on you to see how you are doing. I had said I would be blogging more too and than didn't. I actually was saving up all my posts thinking that if my twin pregnancy worked out I would post them at twelve weeks. Yeah not so much. It all ended last Friday at 11.5 weeks.
    Regarding your situation about more kids, I am interested to hear what you have to say. Totally sucks about your parents...and the job situation you have more time to think about. Good luck!
    Nice to hear you are ok.

  6. Your daughters are absolutely the cutest. And if you want more, well, it's really no one else's business but yours and your husband's.

  7. I'm glad you posted a photo, they are getting so big! I can't really blame you for not going back to your old job. What do you want to do? Is there anything you've always wanted to do? That's what you should do then, whatever give you the passion!

    I'm sorry to hear about your parents, that's rough. :(

    As far as having more kids, you had twins, do you really want to chance having another set? I would be scared, but, if that's what I wanted to do, in my heart, I would. My hubby is a twin, they had another baby after, just a single. Do twins run in your family? Besides all of that, do you want to do everything all over again? Really? I did it twice and I'm now helping out with the grand-baby. It's a lot of work, more than I remember!

  8. It's nice to read a new post from you again! The girls are gorgeous!!! I can't even imagine dealing with the issues you are with your parents right now...ugh, I totally feel for you.

    I am dying to hear about your thoughts about another baby and whatever all the controversial stuff that goes with it is ;)

    As for the "what to do with your life" thing, I am in the same boat - kind of. I have an accounting degree which I used and had a good job up until I was first pregnant and then I decided to stay home. I, however, ended up despising the career...everything about it! I've considered getting a masters and teaching a community college course in math or art...I've considered doing an entirely different route and becoming a dental hygienist, as well all sorts of stuff in between. It is so hard because any career you are in defines you as a person to some degree. But, like you said, you have time. You have so many options, and you are so talented that you'd be great at whatever you end up deciding to do.

  9. I don't think I want to go back to teaching middle school either. I'm thinking about becoming a lactation consultant or something else entirely. We're debating whether or not to have a baby too, so I'll be eager to see what you decide.

    I'm sorry about your parents, and although I'm sure it's hard, your attitude about it is really good. It can't be easy being in the middle.

    Can't believe how big the girls are! They are all so pretty!